The Courage to Try Page 6

  Against her better judgment, Jaylin indulged in a pleasant walk across the fairgrounds with Kristen by her side. She resisted the inclination to take Kristen’s hand and wondered at the feeling of rightness that simple desire produced. Had she really only known Kristen for a few weeks?

  Kristen pointed to a few horses as they walked and recounted stories of their races, along with the name of each one and its owner. Jaylin smiled, enjoying Kristen’s enthusiasm.

  “Here’s my car.” Jaylin pressed her remote key lock and watched the lights flash as the car unlocked. Impulsively, she leaned toward Kristen but realized what she was doing and backed away. God, I almost kissed her.

  Kristen didn’t seem to notice and opened the car door for her. “I’ll see you at work Monday.”

  Heat flared in her belly, and she deliberated a hug good-bye. She wanted a kiss, but she spoke instead. “Bye, Kristen. Thank you again for inviting me. I loved it.”

  “You’re welcome. I enjoyed your company. Careful driving.” Kristen gently closed the door, but with a moment’s hesitation.

  Could she have wanted a kiss, too?

  *

  Kristen parked in the back of the clinic and wasn’t surprised to find Jaylin already at the little table. “Good morning,” Kristen said. “So, do you live here now?” She enjoyed the warm smile her question provoked.

  “I suppose it must seem so, but no. I do go home after work. Help yourself to some coffee.”

  “Thanks.” Kristen filled the empty mug sitting in front of her from the carafe on the table. “I think I could move in, with service like this.” She sipped her coffee and would have been content to sit there all day watching the morning sun glint off Jaylin’s hair, but she was supposed to be working. “Are we going to be busy today?”

  “No more fleas or maggots, but Sarah said we have a Great Dane puppy coming in this morning. The owner says, and I quote, ‘It’s stupid.’”

  “Huh. How in the world can you tell if a dog is stupid?” Kristen couldn’t remember ever learning how to diagnose learning disabilities in dogs. That seemed like a dog trainer’s job.

  “I have my suspicions, but we’ll see. We also have an afternoon filled with heartworm checks. It’s that time of year.”

  “I was pretty good at drawing blood, but it was a number of years ago.” Kristen experienced a flutter of nerves that surprised her. She hadn’t drawn blood from a dog since the year she graduated from the vet tech program.

  “Thanks again for inviting me to your barrel race. I enjoyed it,” Jaylin said.

  “I’ll be riding in one more at the fairgrounds before Memorial Day. That’s where the annual parade starts. You’d probably enjoy it.”

  “Railroad’s training school is planning an obedience demonstration after the parade. I might enroll her. Show her off a little.”

  The ringing of Jaylin’s cell phone reminded Kristen it was time to go to work. She followed Jaylin inside to their first appointment.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Reynolds. I’m Dr. Meyers, and this is my vet tech, Kristen. I understand you’re having problems with your new puppy.” Jaylin stood next to a beautiful harlequin Great Dane puppy nearly as tall as Kristen’s pony. Kristen noticed Jaylin rest her hand gently on the dog’s neck as she stood within its line of sight. She suspects.

  Kristen watched the young female dart her bright eyes around the room, seemingly to memorize it. She’d seen this hyper awareness before in one of her dad’s Appaloosas. This dog wasn’t stupid. She couldn’t hear.

  “Please call me Amina. We can’t get it to do anything we ask. It just ignores all our commands.” Amina stood by the door. She looked about to dash out, leaving this huge burden behind.

  “Does she have a name yet?”

  Kristen suppressed a grin at Jaylin’s diplomacy. Amina probably knew the gender of the dog but clearly didn’t want any connection to “it.”

  “I just call her It,” Amina said. She waved her hand as if trying to make the dog disappear. “She doesn’t respond to anything we call her anyway.”

  “Would you please hold her attention there in front, Kristen? Just put your hands on either side of her face.”

  Jaylin looked at Kristen as she spoke, and Kristen could tell she already knew this puppy was deaf. She watched the young dog’s tail wave as she cooed and stroked her. Jaylin stood behind the dog and clapped her hands loudly. The owner jumped, but the puppy continued her calm tail wagging. Not even a flinch.

  “I believe your puppy may not be able to hear you. I think she’s deaf.” Jaylin pulled out a tuning fork from a drawer and took over Kristen’s position.

  Jaylin’s sensitivity captivated Kristen. Jaylin knelt in front of her so it could see her as she held the device to each side of her head. The pup didn’t even twitch an ear. However, she did give Jaylin a sloppy doggie kiss in the face that elicited chuckles from everyone in the room. Kristen thought maybe there was hope for Amina after all.

  “This color of your Great Dane is called harlequin. Unfortunately, this color dog is prone to hereditary deafness.”

  Amina moved closer to her dog before speaking. “Really? I got her from a friend who was moving out of state. She told me the puppy was nine months old and healthy. Now I’m thinking she just wanted me to take her off her hands.” Amina transformed before Kristen’s eyes. Tears formed as she stroked It’s back. “My ten-year-old son is attached to her. He’s the only reason I didn’t take her to the Humane Society. He calls her Roxie, so I guess that will be her official name.” Amina paused as if in deep thought. “Harlequin.” She pronounced the word as if it were a prayer. “Maybe I can convince my son to call her Quin.” Kristen smiled as Amina pronounced the dog’s new name slowly and distinctly while holding Roxie’s gaze. Roxie would learn to read lips if Amina had her way.

  “I’ll give you the name of a reputable trainer who can help you train Roxie. She has a facility here in town. I think you have a sweet dog, and I’ve seen many deaf animals thrive in the proper environment.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Meyers. I appreciate your help. I thought there was something mentally wrong with her.”

  “I’m going to check her ears for any wax buildup or infection before you go, but she looks fit.”

  Jaylin took Roxie’s temperature, looked in her ears, and listened to her heart. “Except for her lack of hearing, she seems healthy. Has she had all her vaccinations?”

  “I’ll check her papers and give you a call. You can let me know what she might need.”

  “Sounds good. Good luck with her.” Jaylin gave the giant puppy a hug before holding the exam room door open for Amina.

  “When did you realize that dog was deaf?” Kristen sat across from Jaylin at the outdoor table as they ate their lunch later.

  “I pretty much knew when I first looked at her. We had a deaf dog in my last year at vet school. He was an interesting example of how adaptable they can be. We had to be careful he never wandered near the street, but he learned to read hand signals, and he reacted to vibrations in the floor. He could feel someone approaching. I think Roxie will be fine if her owners allow her, and themselves, time to adjust.”

  Kristen finished her sandwich and sat back with a bottle of water. “How many heartworm checks do we have coming in this afternoon?”

  “Only three. The first one’s due in an hour,” Jaylin said.

  “Good. We have a little time.” Kristen turned her face to the early afternoon sun and closed her eyes.

  “Tired?”

  “No. Just relaxing.”

  “Thanks again for your help. You knew that dog was deaf, too, didn’t you?” Jaylin took a sip of her iced tea and mimicked Kristen’s pose.

  “Yep. My dad had a horse that was deaf. She displayed the same sort of vigilance as Roxie.” Kristen opened her eyes and turned toward Jaylin. Their eyes met and Kristen felt herself swirling into a hazel vortex.

  She thought about how gentle Jaylin was with the animals. She’d worked with horses
all her life and dealing with horse owners was very different from small animal owners, but Jaylin knew how to handle the animals as well as the owners, without being overbearing. In fact, she seemed to handle everything in just the right way. Jaylin’s sensitivity and immediate sense of awareness of her patient’s needs intrigued Kristen more each time she saw it. She squelched her thoughts of Jaylin using that awareness to handle her. She turned away and sucked in a settling breath.

  Chapter Nine

  Kristen left her dad and headed to the gun club where she shot one of her worst rounds of skeet in a long time. Her father had barely recognized her, and his latest doctor’s report indicated his dementia had worsened. He still hadn’t been diagnosed with any specific cause, but his doctor requested a brain scan in six months. He’d had one a year ago with no definitive results, and she remembered his severe agitation at going to the hospital for the procedure. She wasn’t sure she wanted to put him through it again, especially since it wouldn’t change anything.

  She rubbed her eyes with her palms and tipped her head back, groaning. She’d spent the night tossing and turning. A year ago, she’d managed to shove memories of her one failed relationship deep into the recesses of her mind so she could move on with her life. She’d felt weak, vulnerable, and unable to be who Lynda needed, and would never again try to be someone she wasn’t. It was past midnight when she’d finally forced the recollections of Lynda back where they belonged. She couldn’t figure out why the buried memories were surfacing now.

  She arrived at the clinic an hour early. She’d enjoyed having Jaylin watch her ride last week. She’d liked that Jaylin saw the real her when she was doing what she loved instead of what was expected of her. It made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t in a very long time, and she liked it. Maybe too much. So when Jaylin had asked if she’d assist in the surgery today, she hadn’t hesitated to say yes. They’d agreed that Kristen would only work three days a week unless Jaylin needed more help, and so far she hadn’t asked for anything more. It didn’t matter what the procedure was; she’d be there.

  “Thanks for coming in early. I appreciate your help today,” Jaylin said.

  “No problem. I’m supposed to be here to help, although you don’t seem to need my help with most things, so I’m honored that you asked. What’s so special about this one?”

  “Bob Miller is a long-time client of mine. He drove quite a distance to bring his new bulldog to me for neutering. I want to be sure everything goes smoothly. The puppy is healthy, and his blood work looks normal, so I don’t think there’ll be any issues, but I appreciate you assisting.” Kristen followed Jaylin to the surgery room.

  “If I remember my dog breeds correctly, bulldogs have that smooshed in face and can have trouble breathing. Am I right?”

  “Correct.” Jaylin’s smile warmed Kristen in areas of her body she would prefer to ignore while at work.

  “We’re going to intubate him then?”

  “Yeah. I want a nice open airway. I’ve pretty much got the surgery room ready. Bob will drop Bambi off at eight thirty. I’d like to get him finished before the clients start coming in at ten.”

  Kristen looked around the room before turning to Jaylin. “What do you need me to do?” She saw everything in place except their patient. The blush that crept across Jaylin’s smooth cheeks kindled the heat simmering in Kristen’s belly. She had to get control of her reactions to Jaylin.

  “I’m sorry. I’m used to doing things myself. When Bambi gets here, you can help me get him sedated and prepped. I’d appreciate it if you’d keep an eye on his respiration and heart rate while I’m doing the procedure.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Shall we relax outside while we wait for Bambi? I have some bagels in the kitchenette. It’s a beautiful morning.”

  Jaylin positioned the chairs so the morning sunshine would warm their backs and not be in their eyes. God, her eyes. She had to keep herself in check. Kristen was there to help establish her presence at the clinic. That’s all. She’d be gone soon, and Jaylin would be on her own. Nothing new. She’d been on her own all her adult life as well as most of her childhood, when she thought about it.

  “This is nice. Thanks for suggesting it. I put a note on the door to have Bob come around back if he gets here early,” Kristen said.

  “Thanks, Kristen. I didn’t even think of that.”

  “No problem. I like to be prepared. You never know what these small animal owners might do.”

  Jaylin smiled at the good-natured teasing. “Huh. At least they don’t wake you in the middle of the night to come out because their horse has a belly ache.”

  “You should know, as a veterinarian, that a belly ache in a horse can indicate a potentially fatal condition. My father had a mare that died because the vet he called ‘in the middle of the night’ didn’t show up for three hours. Bambi will be here soon.” Kristen bounced to her feet and stomped back into the building.

  So much for a good working relationship. She’d pushed some button that set Kristen off. She certainly hadn’t meant to, and she hated the feeling of anxiety it sent coursing through her. She sprang from her chair and followed Kristen. “Wait, Kristen, tell me what I said wrong.”

  She found Kristen setting up the anesthesia, but she didn’t respond. They completed the surgery in silence except for Kristen’s occasional update as to Bambi’s status. She kept her stethoscope on throughout the procedure and kept her eyes on their patient without sparing Jaylin a glance. When they were done, she walked out without a word.

  “Bambi did fine, Bob…Yes, you can pick him up in the morning…Nine would be great…I’ll see you then.” Jaylin disconnected the call and slumped back in her office chair. Kristen had stayed long enough to see that Bambi was awake and stable before fleeing out the door. With anyone else, she might have shrugged it off and apologized the next time she saw them. But with Kristen, the need to make amends felt more urgent. She needed to make things right with her friend. Friend? She shook her head. Whatever it was, she had to fix it.

  *

  Jaylin claimed a seat in the bleachers facing the arena. When she’d mentioned on her way out her intention to track down Kristen, Sarah had told her about Kristen’s Gymkhana event. She’d hoped to be able to sit back, watch without calling attention to herself, and talk to Kristen after the event. If they were going to work together, even for only a short time, she wanted to try for affability, at least. Although there couldn’t be anything romantic, she liked Kristen’s company, both inside and outside the clinic, and she didn’t want to let a stupid comment jeopardize that. She’d never heard of this type of competition and she wanted to learn all about it.

  She watched as Kristen led Zigzag into the arena. She mounted and waved to the crowd as she positioned him in the starting area. The first event was a keyhole/barrel timed event where each horse and rider entered the little round area marked off with chalk, turned, and exited as fast as possible. Then they’d ride back into the arena and race around each of three barrels as fast as they could. The competition seemed complicated, and Jaylin wasn’t sure if points were allocated or if it was a race. But Kristen looked great in her faded jeans, boots, and button down shirt. She concentrated on that.

  As Jaylin watched the event, more of it made sense. She could make out the pattern that the horse had to follow. There were barrels that the horses had to pay attention to and a chalk line the rider had to make sure the horse never crossed. She cheered as Kristen rode Zigzag through the course with the fastest time. She hopped off the bleacher, intending to get an iced tea before looking for Kristen.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Jaylin jumped more at the harshness of the tone than the unexpected presence and was instantly on the defensive. “I came to watch this public event.” Jaylin set her hands on her hips then quickly relaxed, realizing her reaction wasn’t going to help the situation. “Sarah told me you were riding today, and I wanted to talk to you. To apologize for my co
mment yesterday. I was insensitive.”

  “Yes, you were.” Kristen turned to walk away but Jaylin grabbed her wrist.

  “Please. Of course I know how serious colic can be. I know all about gastric impaction and torsion. I’m sorry for the stupid joke. I was just teasing you, and I didn’t think before I spoke.” She let go when Kristen stared fixedly at her hand. She’d hoped for a response other than Kristen walking away. What she didn’t expect was Kristen seizing both of her wrists and pinning her up against a post under the bleachers. She didn’t resist. Wetness pooled between her legs, and a knot formed in her stomach. Before she could figure out what she wanted to do, Kristen kissed her. The kiss was the sweetest, most tender Jaylin had ever experienced. Possessive, yet yielding. Claiming, but questioning.

  Her stomach knot unraveled, and she kissed Kristen back. Hard. She spun them around and pushed Kristen against the same post that had been at her own back. She held Kristen’s wrists away from her body. She leaned back, but held Kristen in place. They were both breathing hard. Kristen stood in quiet supplication, her eyes closed. Realizing she still held Kristen’s wrists tightly, she flashed back to Sally’s possessiveness and flinched. She would accept love freely given, not take it. Jaylin released Kristen’s arms and stepped back.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

  Kristen wrapped her arms around Jaylin’s waist and gently tugged her into another kiss. “No. Don’t apologize. I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day I met you.”

  “But I thought…” Jaylin struggled with her feelings. What did she think? She felt how gently Kristen held her in her arms. Clearly, her worry came from her own issues, not something Kristen was feeling. She wasn’t forcing her into anything, and that kiss…she’d never felt cherished from a kiss before.

  “I don’t know what you thought, but if it was that we can’t do this, I agree. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Kristen’s breath tickled her neck. Kristen released her, and Jaylin moved back on wobbly legs.