Through Love's Eyes Read online

  “Mind if I walk with you?”

  She turned toward Erika, surprised. “Of course. I’m on my way home. You’re welcome to come with me and have a cup of tea.” She tried to remember if she’d left any clothes lying on the floor.

  “I’d like that,” Erika replied quietly and stayed close as they walked.

  “No meeting with your agent tonight?” Brittany slowed her pace, enjoying the feel of Erika so near. The feeling confused her. Why did she want to have anything to do with her?

  “No. We’re meeting in the morning before we head to the Surrey Hills Museum and Butterfly Conservatory. I think it’s going to be a fun shoot. I love butterflies.”

  “Yeah, it’s a great place. I love going there.”

  “You could come in with us while we’re there.” Erika looked excited.

  “I wish I could, but I’m responsible for the carriage and horses. I’m not allowed to leave them unattended. You have a good time, and you can tell me all about it when you’re done. Here we are.” She unlocked the door and stepped aside for Erika to enter.

  Once inside, Brittany fumbled with her teapot. She’d never had anyone over to her apartment. She took a settling breath and counted to ten like her therapist had suggested for stressful situations. She set the pot on the burner and retrieved two cups. She was putting the teabags into the cups when Erika walked up behind her. “Can I help with anything? Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She put her hand on her forearm.

  Brittany stared at her hand on her arm. She raised her eyes and fell into her golden stare. “Is green tea okay? I might have something else. I’ll have to look. Or I have coffee…” She stopped her rambling, unsure of what to do. She looked down at her arm and back up again.

  “It’s okay, Brit,” Erika whispered, squeezed her arm, and leaned toward her. “May I kiss you?”

  Brittany panicked but couldn’t move. Every muscle in her body froze. She was sure her heart stopped, and she’d fall over before Erika could catch her. She realized she held her breath and decided she’d probably pass out before she needed to answer. She squeezed one word past the lump in her throat. “Okay…”

  Erika cupped her face between warm hands and pressed her lips gently against hers. Memories flooded back of a small dark room amidst crayons and puzzle pieces and her first kiss ever. This was her second. Why did it have to be with the one woman she could never have anything real with?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Erika tried to look relaxed as she waited for Peter to arrive. She drank her coffee, barely tasting it. What was she thinking? She’d been flooded with childhood memories of her and Brit, in her room, drawing pictures, sharing an innocent kiss. She’d never forgotten the kiss, and last night she couldn’t stop herself from repeating it. But Erika kissing Brit was different from two kids sharing a close friendship. She’d been so focused on wanting to kiss her she hadn’t even asked Brit if she was dating anyone. Did she even give her a chance to say no when she’d asked for the kiss? Her fuzzy, lust filled memory told her she had. She’d been too busy with her career to date seriously, and she had to be ever mindful of who she hooked up with to keep it from the tabloids. But there had been no one she’d kissed who’d made her tingle like Brit did.

  Erika’s ruminations were interrupted by Peter’s arrival. “Hi, beautiful.” He gave her a peck on the cheek and sat across from her. “You look a little pensive this morning. You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. How’d all your phone calls go yesterday?”

  Peter ordered a cup of coffee and pulled a notepad out of his pocket before answering. “Once I finally found an area where my cell phone worked, I managed to get a few leads, but I’m afraid I wasn’t able to get any firm commitments. Good news is the magazine we’re working with here wants you for a series they’re doing titled ‘Parks across America.’” You’ll be their featured model. The next series of shoots is in Central Park. Right at home for you.” He grinned and sipped his coffee.

  “It sounds good. How many shoots did they commit to?” Erika enjoyed a moment of relief. Maybe there’d be no more pressure to do the nude scenes.

  “They didn’t commit to anything. They just said they loved what they had so far here on the island and wanted more of you.”

  “So, nothing definite?” Erika watched Peter’s response closely.

  “No. But I’ve seen the photos they’ve taken so far, and they’re great. I think you’re a shoo-in.”

  “Okay. So, no more Naturalé.” She let out a relieved sigh and grinned until the uncertainty in his eyes punched her in the gut. “That is what it means, doesn’t it, Pete?”

  “Maybe. I’ll keep trying to pin them down to a contract. At least it would keep you busy for the rest of this year.” He finished his coffee and stood. “I’ll let you know if I get more info.”

  Erika watched him leave the room, then turned back to her breakfast. She pushed aside her misgivings and turned her thoughts back to Brit.

  * * *

  Erika stood at the door waiting for Brit to show up with the carriage. Part of her worried she’d send someone else because she didn’t want to see her. After their shared kiss, they’d sat and chatted over their tea, sharing silly anecdotes about their work. It was relaxed, but they didn’t mention the kiss, and the unspoken words hung heavy in the air between them. When she left, Brit had kept her distance, and it was clear another kiss wasn’t going to happen. She began to pace, certain she’d offended her. She’d shown up on the island and marched into Brit’s life uninvited. Within four days, she’d disclosed who she was, tried to explain her teenage behavior, and kissed her. Kissed her as if she had a right to. She shivered in anticipation and willed her breathing to return to normal while she waited.

  She straightened and smiled when the horses plodded toward her. Brit looked relaxed and confident as she guided the carriage to the loading area, and some of Erika’s tension eased. She waited for her photographer to join her before boarding the coach. “Good morning.” She spoke as she stepped aboard.

  “Good morning,” Brit said. “I think you’ll enjoy the Avenue of Flags today. I imagine the photos will be awesome.”

  Erica relaxed into her seat. Brit was acting as she always did. She must be okay with the kiss. “I’m looking forward to it.” She concentrated on the photo shoot and the possibility of having dinner with Brit afterward. The ride was quiet, and she enjoyed the serenity of her surroundings as they made their way to the location. She stepped off the carriage and followed the photographer and the crew, and when she looked over her shoulder, Brit gave her a quick smile before turning to the horses.

  * * *

  The day was long, but the shoot was good. Erika made a point of sitting close enough to Brit so the crew couldn’t hear their conversation on the way back to the hotel. “Would you have dinner with me tonight?” she asked.

  “Sure. I think that would be nice.”

  “Is the dining room at the hotel all right?” An unfamiliar uncertainty washed over her as she waited for Brit’s answer. She’d asked women out before, and in truth, she’d never been turned down. Of course, none of them were more than a night or two and it was a given that would be the case. Women enjoyed her company, but in their world, there was always someone new on the horizon. She wasn’t sure where her relationship with Brit was headed, but she knew she wanted to spend more time with her. They’d shared a childhood connection, but now she hoped to share an adult one.

  “It’s fine. Okay if we sit against the wall, toward the corner?”

  “Wherever you’re comfortable.”

  They arrived back at the hotel and set a time to meet before Brit left.

  Erika arrived first and secured their table. It wasn’t long before she spotted Brit and waved. She strode to the small two-seat table, and the waitress appeared within minutes to take their order.

  “I’m glad you agreed to have dinner with me.” She smiled. “I wanted to talk about last night.” She hesitated. “I
hope I wasn’t out of line kissing you, but I couldn’t resist.” She sat back in the chair waiting for Brit’s reaction.

  Brit took a sip of water and avoided eye contact. “I would’ve stopped you if I was uncomfortable.” She took another drink of water, keeping her eyes averted.

  “I was going to apologize if I offended you. I’m glad you’re okay with it, because it was a super nice kiss.” She flashed a smile.

  “No need for apologies. It was a nice kiss. Even better than the first one.” Brit looked directly at her, but her emotions were shuttered.

  “Yes. I remember our first one, too.” She stroked her hand. “I was worried you were seeing someone, and I didn’t even bother to ask first.”

  The server interrupted their conversation and put their meals down. Erika watched Brit’s face, and now the emotions in her eyes were clear. She looked confused and uncomfortable.

  Brit shifted in her seat. She looked nervous. “I’m not seeing anyone. Romantically, I mean. I see my therapist when I need to. I’m happy on my own.” She took a bite of her food, looking down at her plate.

  Erika decided to let Brit lead the conversation. She picked up her fork to eat her dinner and hoped Brit would speak or it was going to be a long evening.

  She waited a few minutes before speaking again. “I’m glad the weather’s turned out so well for these shoots. Is it usual for this time of year on the island?” An inane question, but she was at a loss as to how to reach Brit.

  “We usually get some rain this month, but mostly at night. It’s been dryer than normal.” Brit bent her head and took a bite of food.

  Erika returned to her meal, wishing Brit would open up.

  Dinner ended on an uncomfortable note, and Erika was determined to put Brit at ease. She just wasn’t sure how. She wished she hadn’t given in to her impulse to kiss her. She probably hadn’t given her enough time after their heavy conversation to process her feelings before jumping on her. She had to make things right. It’d been hard enough to apologize for her behavior in high school, now she had to do it again.

  “Thanks for the dinner invitation, Erika.”

  “Let’s walk out back and check out the sunset.” Erika took Brit’s hand and tugged her out the door. “Are you sure you’re okay with the kiss?”

  “I’m sure.” Brit stopped walking and turned to face her. “I’ve never kissed anyone else, so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do or how to feel.” She looked down at her feet.

  Erika gently placed her hand on Brit’s cheek. It made sense. Brit had spent months in a burn unit as a kid, then had the courage to come back to school, only to be harassed. Then, as an adult, moved to Mackinac Island and chose to work where it was safe. With horses. She’d probably never allowed herself to be vulnerable with anyone. “You don’t have to do anything, Brit. You’re perfect the way you are, and whatever you feel is okay.”

  Brit placed her hand over hers and turned her head to kiss her palm. “I feel seen with you. It’s a new feeling for me, and a little scary.”

  Brit’s instinctive response and her honesty and vulnerability took Erika by surprise, and she vowed to work to earn her trust.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Brittany woke to birdsongs drifting through her open window. The months of May and June were her favorite. The birds were nesting, and the lilacs were blooming. Memories of the winter’s deep-freeze gave way to thoughts of warm summer nights. She stretched and smiled at Erika’s words. Erika had said she was perfect. Her parents used to tell her the same thing, and she ought never to let anyone tell her different. But those were her parents. Erika was a friend. One who’d kissed her twice. Now she wished she’d tried dating, although there’d only been one woman she’d trusted and allowed close enough to consider.

  Barb was a conservation officer who lived on Drummond Island and was occasionally stationed on Mackinac Island, and she’d turned out to be a dear friend. Brittany had never been driven to kiss her like she did Erika. She contemplated the idea of friendship compared to something more, but her mind muddled. She’d read about friendships and love relationships, but real-life ones seemed far more complicated. She swung out of bed and went to the shower to prepare for her day.

  She made herself a cup of tea and put two eggs in a pot to boil. Erika probably had room service at the hotel and ordered whatever she wanted. She couldn’t imagine the lifestyle Erika maintained. She wondered if she’d settled into it easily because Erika’s family hadn’t been rich. Reflections on Erika’s family reminded her she needed to check on her own parents. She planned to review the magazine group’s schedule for the week and plan a day off the island.

  She left a few minutes early so she could talk to Ben before going to the stables.

  “Brittany. I’m glad you stopped in. How’s everything going with the magazine?” Ben looked up from his laptop.

  “It’s good. I came by to see if you had their schedule for this week. I’d like to plan a day off the island to see my parents.” She leaned against the wall.

  “I do have it. In fact, they’ve extended their stay for three days. I’ve printed out a copy of their itinerary for you.” He handed her a sheet of paper.

  “Thanks.” She scanned the information and found a day toward the end of the week. “It looks like maybe Thursday will work. I’ll let you know.” She turned to leave but stopped at the sound of his voice behind her.

  “Do what you need to, Brittany. I appreciate your flexibility with this group. I’ll get George to cover for you if you need it.”

  “Thank you, Ben.” She smiled while she ambled to the stables, mentally planning her trip. It was only a two-hour drive, but the ride took all her concentration, and she was exhausted by the time she arrived.

  “Good morning,” Erika called.

  “Good morning. Am I late? I thought we didn’t need to leave until nine.” The unfamiliar stirring as she watched Erika get closer took her by surprise. She turned toward the carriage to wipe down one of the bench seats.

  “You’re not late. I just wanted to see you.” She leaned on one of the wheels. “Will you have dinner with me again after the shoot today?”

  “I’d love to.” Brittany relaxed and quit trying to look busy.

  “Cool. I’ll see you in a little while.” Erika leaned to brush her lips over Brittany’s cheek before she headed back toward the hotel.

  Brittany attempted to define her feelings as she watched Erika walk away. She had liked kissing her, but kissing her as an adult flooded her with new emotional and physical responses. She struggled with reconciling her feelings of closeness to Erika with the memories of her as her tormentor. She changed her plans from a visit to her parents to an appointment with her therapist.

  * * *

  “I’m glad your photos went well today.” Brittany spoke from her seat, holding the horse’s reins.

  “Me, too. It sure went smoother than the last time we were close to the water.” Erika climbed onto the carriage and squeezed her shoulder. “We probably won’t need the blankets this trip.”

  The afternoon had warmed nicely and Brittany enjoyed the view of the sunlight sparkling off the water. “Would you all like me to take a longer route along the water’s edge back to the hotel?”

  The group chimed in their agreement, all except Peter. Brittany noticed his sour expression and made a mental note to ask Erika about it at dinner. She explained the significance of the area and gave a short history of Mission Point before guiding the horses back to the hotel.

  “Enjoy your evening. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Brittany said as she waved to the group and waited until they unloaded their equipment. She and George unhitched the horses and settled them in for the night before she rushed home to clean up and change for dinner.

  She rinsed her face and blotted her scarred skin before applying fresh sunscreen. She regarded her reflection in the mirror. What did Erika see when she looked at her? She’d kissed her, so did it mean she saw her as young Brittany, be
fore she was scar face, or did she see beyond the hypertrophic burn scarring, despite the massage and gel sheet therapy? She sighed, wishing she’d never had to learn, firsthand, the meaning of those words. She finished dressing, selecting a pair of dress pants and lightweight polo shirt she usually reserved for meetings with the CPA she worked for, before she checked her reflection one more time and headed out.

  She took a path along the water to the hotel side entrance. This late in the evening, more formal attire was required in the dining area so she went directly to Erika’s room. She only had to knock once before Erika was standing in the doorway looking beautiful. “We didn’t specify a place or time, so here I am.” Brittany raised her hands palms up in a hope it’s okay gesture.

  Erika pulled her into the room, wrapped her arms around her neck, and kissed her. It was a demanding kiss and Brittany didn’t resist. She ended the kiss and backed away a step. “It’s great.”

  Brittany shifted foot to foot, unsure of what to do with her hands, so she let her arms hang by her side. Erika seemed to have gotten over any uncertainty about making her desires known, but Brittany had no idea what she wanted. For the moment, she’d just see where it went. She tugged at the bottom of her shirt. “I’m afraid this is the fanciest outfit I have, so I’m not sure about dinner in the dining room.”