Through Love's Eyes Read online

  Brittany followed him with the other one. “Can I tell you something?”

  George hung the harness on the rack and turned to her. “You probably don’t have to, but go ahead.” He chuckled.

  “I grew up with Erika. Amy is her real name. She became Erika James when she started modeling.”

  He tipped his head and looked at her, clearly surprised.

  “We were both born in Roscommon and went to school together.” Brittany’s relief at talking about Erika comforted her, but she wasn’t ready to get into the mean girl group and her involvement and all the rest. “I hadn’t seen her in years, so it was a surprise when she showed up here. So, there’s history, you know?” She smiled. She was grateful for his friendship. It felt good to be able to talk to someone.

  “I see. History can be awkward, but it can be a great starting place, too. It’s great that you were able to reconnect.” He bent over to stretch his back. “I’m beat. It’s been a long day. You ready to head home?”

  “I am.” She checked her phone. “Let’s do our last walk-through and lock up.” Brittany went home without checking her phone once. She was trying not to get overexcited. Getting her hopes up that they could somehow tunnel through the mountain of things that lay between them might be silly. Erika had left her once. She didn’t want to be in that position again. Hope might be dangerous, but it felt really good.

  * * *

  Brittany checked her food supply and made a grocery list. Erika had only said she wanted to see her but didn’t indicate when. She needed food anyway, so she just added a little extra just in case. She checked her phone when she returned from the store, then put her groceries away and mixed up a tuna salad. She opened a bottle of water and turned on the TV before she sat on the couch to eat and wait for Erika’s call. She turned off the television after the news and went to bed to read. She squelched her disappointment at not hearing from her again, but she hadn’t said she was going to call back today. She listened to her message again. She wanted to see her, and she had a new development in her life. More importantly, she said she missed her. She’d call back. She just needed to be patient, but that would be a struggle. She drifted off to sleep with Erika’s tender kisses and gentle caresses on her mind.

  Chapter Fifty-five

  Erika did a little happy dance when she read Brit’s text. She wanted her to come back. She considered her timeline and wasn’t sure she could make it there for the Lilac Festival. It sounded like it would be fun, but she’d booked a flight to Arizona for the day after tomorrow, and she didn’t know what to expect when she told her parents the news. She might have to turn around and leave the same day, or it could be fine and they could ask her to spend a few days. She’d take this event in her life one day at a time. She was so excited about Brit’s positive response that she texted her a row of kisses before her message.

  Need to take care of some things first.

  She planned her wardrobe for Arizona and realized she wanted to go shopping. There’d be quite a few things to get used to now that every minute of every day wouldn’t be scheduled for work somewhere in the world. The first thing she’d do is update her wardrobe. She called Pat, who loved to shop as much as she did. As she waited for Pat to answer, she allowed herself to feel the excitement of having time to shop whenever she wanted to.

  “Hi, Erika. What’s up?”

  “Feel like going shopping with me?”

  “What time and where?”

  “This afternoon. About two? I’ll meet you at the bistro.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  Erika began pulling everything out of her closet. She was midway through when her phone pinged. She grinned at Brit’s response, which filled her whole screen with kisses. She’d let her know her plans when she was able. She sent kisses back. Words would have to wait until they were together and she could figure out what to say. Texting anything didn’t feel right.

  Pat wrapped Erika in a hug when they arrived. “It’s good to see you again. You look good.”

  “Thanks. I have news. I’m retired!” She blurted out the words and reveled in the tiny bit of excitement behind them.

  “Wow. As of when? We just talked the other day.” Pat sat across from her at a small table.

  “Day before yesterday. Peter sent me the info on that Naturalé shoot. We talked and he told me that was my final option, and if I did it, the agency would probably let me go anyway. So I quit. I really don’t want the last photos I ever do to be nude ones.” Erika took a sip of her espresso.

  “Cool. I’m sorry they couldn’t find you other work, but now you’re free to go shopping with me!” She held up her cup. “Here’s to being beautiful, older but not wiser, and ready for whatever comes next.” They clinked their cups in a toast.

  Erika juggled six bags back to her apartment after they’d hit every shop along their favorite strip. She checked her phone before she went into the building and smiled at all the kisses on the screen. She replied with kisses and grinned all the way up in the elevator.

  She sorted all her clothes, still piled on the bed, and hung them in her closet as she mentally packed her suitcase for Arizona. She stopped halfway through to pour herself a glass of wine and swallow the nervous lump in her throat. She plopped onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. She looked at her cell phone and giggled. Along with the kisses, Brit sent her a note.

  Soon????? Along with more kiss emojis.

  Erika considered calling her to tell her the news but decided to wait until she spoke to her parents. She replied.

  Don’t know if I’ll make it for the lilacs, but as soon as I can. I’m headed to Arizona to see Mom and Dad first! A ton of kiss emojis followed.

  She called Henry to pick up her bags and ordered a car to the airport before she locked her door, took a deep settling breath, and headed to face whatever her parents had in store for her.

  She chose a window seat in the airport to watch the planes taxi to the terminal. She turned to observe the people scurrying in various directions toward their destinations. It was a familiar scene from her years of world travel, but different this trip. Few trips had been for anything except photo shoots or promotional events, but this one was strictly personal and, in her mind, the most important she’d ever taken. She thought back to the woman at the Chicago airport who’d requested an autograph. It was exciting to know she was recognized, but she realized her excitement had come from a place of desperation. She would still love to know she had fans out in the world, but her focus was shifting to a future away from modeling. To what, she wasn’t quite certain, but at least she was looking forward to it. They called her flight to begin boarding, so she followed the line of people into the plane.

  * * *

  “How was your flight, dear? Did you get something to eat? You look so thin, are you sure you’re all right?” Her mother hadn’t stopped fussing over her since they’d picked her up from the airport. She’d wanted to rent a car, but they insisted it was only a half hour trip to their house and would give her dad an excuse to drive the Mercedes she’d bought them.

  Erika fidgeted in the back seat and smiled every time her mom turned to address her with a question or comment. She looked forward to spending time with her parents but struggled for words to tell them about the new direction in her life.

  She took her suitcase to the guest room. She liked the coziness of the smallest of the four bedrooms in the house. It hadn’t changed since the last time she was there two years ago except for the addition of a framed photo of her cut from the latest magazine in which she’d been featured. A pang of guilt rippled through her when she realized how long it had been since she’d visited her parents. She washed her face and changed into shorts and one of her Mackinac Island T-shirts before joining them at the dining room table. The three of them seated at a table reminded her of her childhood. Her mother would get home from work before her father and have dinner ready when he arrived. They’d all sit at the table and she’d answer question
s about school and what she’d learned that day. She remembered her father’s words about how important it was to learn something new every day. After dinner, three days a week, they’d take her to her modeling or dance classes. They’d devoted their lives to her, and now she had to tell them it was all over. She took a breath for courage.

  “I have something I want to tell you.” Her mother poured glasses of juice for each of them, and she took a sip before continuing. “Do you remember my agent, Peter?”

  “Oh, yes. He was a good man,” her father said.

  “He still is a good man. He’s worked hard for me throughout the years, but he hasn’t been able to find work for me lately. The magazines all want younger models. His words were they want ‘young and fresh.’” She took a deep breath to muster her courage. “I’m trying to tell you that there isn’t any more work out there for me. They want new, young, and fresh, so I’m out of the picture. I’m officially retired now.”

  “You’re not working at all?” her mom asked.

  “No, Mom. I’m sorry, and I want you to know how much I appreciate your encouragement and all the time and money you spent on my career. But it’s over unless I find work on my own. I don’t know what I’ll be doing now, but it probably won’t be fashion modeling. I’m sorry.” Saying the words out loud, to the most important people in her life, made them concrete. It hurt, but it was also a relief.

  “Oh, honey. You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I hope you don’t think we were ever disappointed in you. We’re very proud of you.” Her mother drew her into a hug.

  Baffled, Erika pulled back to look at her. “But I’m not a model anymore. I’m no longer Erika James, fashion model. I feel like a has-been.”

  “Listen to me.” Her father stood, gently turned her, and held her by her upper arms. “You’re still our daughter. We love you, and like your mom said, we’re very proud of you.”

  “Everything you planned for me and expected of me is over.” She held back tears. Barely.

  “You’ve exceeded any of our expectations, and you have a right to be proud of your accomplishments,” her mother said. “People have career changes, honey. You had twenty years in one, and now you can move on. You’ve done exceptionally well, just like we knew you would. And you’ll be wonderful with whatever you decide to do next.”

  Erika let her tears fall. “Thank you.” She choked out the words. Why had she ever been worried about their reaction? Had she simply projected her own fears and disappointment onto them? It seemed so.

  “Come, let’s have some lemonade.” Her mother put three glasses on the counter, and Erika got the lemonade from the refrigerator.

  She excused herself, went to the bathroom to splash water on her face, and collected herself before she returned to sit with them at the table. “I do have some other news.” She took a sip from her glass and a deep breath. “Remember years ago when I told you I was struggling with my sexuality and I’d realized I was a lesbian?”

  “Of course we do. And we told you we only wanted to see you happy and hoped you’d find someone to love, male or female,” her mother said.

  “I’ve become very close to someone in the last few weeks.”

  “Oh, honey, that’s wonderful. Who is she?” her mother asked.

  “Do you remember Brittany Yardin from the old neighborhood?”

  “She’s the poor girl who had that accident. Her parents were upset for years. I remember you two were friends as kids. Why do you bring her up?”

  “I had my last photo shoot on Mackinac Island. Brittany lives there now, so we reconnected. She was the carriage driver for me while I was there. She’s who I’ve become close to.” Erika wanted to tell her parents exactly how close they were but needed to define it for herself first.

  “Oh.” Her mother and father shared a look across the table. “We love you and we want to see you happy. Marriage is legal now for everyone and we have three lovely female couples in our church.” Her mother patted her hand.

  Erika smiled, grateful for their support. “Thank you, both. I’m relieved that you’re okay with it. I’ve never had anyone special in my life before now, so this is new for me.”

  “I hope you know you can bring her here whenever you want to.” Her mother looked excited.

  “I appreciate it, Mom. And I will.”

  Her mom took her hand and her father’s. “Does this mean we’ll get to see more of you now?”

  “Absolutely. I’ll figure out what’s next for me and we can make plans.”

  Her dad surprised her by pulling her into his arms again. “You made us so proud. We love you. I hope you’ll enjoy retirement as much as I do.”

  Erika let happy tears fall as she absorbed the feeling of being loved.

  Chapter Fifty-six

  Brittany looked at her phone. The last text she’d gotten was two days ago and she was slightly deflated. Erika hadn’t said anything about a specific date, but Brittany had hoped that soon meant, well, sooner than later. She sent another kiss message to Erika and went back to work. It was the last day of the Lilac Festival, and she was driving the Grand Hotel’s omnibus in the main parade. She had the harnesses polished and the headdresses fluffed and ready to be mounted on the horses. She checked her phone before she went to the restroom to get dressed. She reflected on her life since Erika. She’d brought love into her life and a confidence she’d never felt before. Today was her debut driving the big carriage in the parade, and her previous fear and shame fled. She touched up her French braid and her makeup and adjusted her tie and hat. She sent one more text to Erika, just to say she was thinking about her, and then she was ready. She went to let George know.

  “Good luck, Brittany. You look great. I’m glad you decided to do this. I’m proud of you.” George beamed like a proud father, although he was only five years older than she was. “I love driving the big bus in this parade. Wait until you hear the crowd cheering when you drive by.” He looked at his watch. “I’ve gotta go. Enjoy yourself.”

  “Thanks, George. See you later.” She checked her phone before she turned it off and put it inside her vest pocket.

  “Thanks for helping me get these guys hitched up.” Brittany worked with one of her coworkers to put the harnesses and headdresses on the two draft horses. They double-checked that all was in order and Brittany climbed aboard the carriage and began the trip to the parade route. She waved to the crowds and smiled at the kids being held back from running into the street. She reached the main area and waited for the signal to begin the slow procession through town. She could feel the excitement from the people lining the route and hear the cheers as she began to slowly creep past. The children squealed and pointed at the horses, and she could hear their cries “horsie, horsie.” She’d been to many of these parades but sitting atop the Grand Hotel’s premier carriage was an experience she wouldn’t forget. She vowed to invite her mom and dad next year if she had the opportunity to drive again.

  She neared the end of the parade route and got the signal to hold the horses back. She held the reins tightly and scanned the crowd. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and looked to her left. A Tilley hat shadowed her face, but there was no mistaking the golden-flecked eyes as they held her captive. Her smile warmed her a hundred times greater than the sun. Erika mouthed the words I love you, and it took her breath away. She willed the parade to end, no longer caring about anyone else in the crowd except Erika. She was back, and she loved her. She had no idea what their future would look like, but she was determined they’d work one out, together. She parked the carriage and put the horses away in record time, then went in search of Erika. She found her waiting by the entrance to the barn.

  Brit grabbed Erika’s hand and pulled her into an empty stall. “When did you get here?” she asked.

  “About an hour ago. I hope you don’t mind, but I put my suitcase in your apartment. I still have a key. I couldn’t wait any longer.” Erika framed her face in her hands and kissed her. “So
much better than text kisses.” She kissed her again.

  “Let’s go home.” Brit took her hand and led her to her apartment. She fumbled with the key when they got there. She couldn’t believe Erika was there, and because she wanted to be. Here because she loved her. She dropped her keys and picked them up with trembling fingers.

  Erika reached around her and supported her hand as she unlocked the door.

  They entered the room and Brit locked the door behind them and tossed her hat aside. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “I’d like you.” Erika led her to the bedroom and pushed her onto the bed on her back. She straddled her, grabbed her hands, and placed them on her breasts. It was a familiar pose Brit would never forget and considered her favorite.

  She brushed her thumbs over Erika’s erect nipples. Her whimper encouraged her to slip her hands under her T-shirt and push up her bra to feel the weight of her breasts. She squirmed, thrusting her hips in time to Brit’s thumb movements on her nipples. Brit traced her fingers down Erika’s sides to the waistband of her shorts and shoved them down as far as she could. “Take these off.”

  Erika rolled off Brit, stood, and pushed off her shorts and panties and pulled off her T-shirt and bra. Brit forced a breath into her lungs. Erika was beautiful clothed, naked she was a Goddess. She pulled off her own clothes, desperate to feel her against her own nakedness.

  “God, you’re beautiful.” She drew Erika close so their breasts touched. Erika gripped her hips and gently pushed her back on the bed. Brit hugged her close when she lay on top of her and shivered with need. Erika pulled up the covers, cocooning them.

  “I’m glad you came back to me.” Brit kissed her lightly on the lips. “Do you have to leave anytime soon?”

  Erika turned to her side and propped on one elbow but kept one hand on her belly. She trembled at the heat of her touch. “I don’t have to go anywhere, sweetheart. I’m retired.”